Episode 100
100. Celebrating 100 Episodes! What I've learned about Head Knowledge vs. Earned Knowledge
We made it to the 100th episode of Becoming Obsessed!!
GIVEAWAY: Get a free 'Out Living My Life' t-shirt when you leave a 5-star review, screenshot it, and email it to hello@teresaajean.com. Make sure to include your mailing address and t-shirt size!
This episode is your reminder that you don't need to be perfect. You just need to show up.
Teresa shares her own journey of showing up (for 100 episodes!) without having the perfect answers, and why knowledge gained from experience is better than learning without doing.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Consistency doesn't have to look perfect to count. Breaks, missed weeks, and imperfect execution are part of the process.
- Learning something and actually knowing it are two very different things. No course, template, or strategy replaces the earned knowledge that only comes from doing the thing yourself.
- How we often use old "evidence" to write narratives about ourselves that were never really true.
- The pressure to show up with all the answers is holding you back.
- When a lesson keeps coming back around, it's not because you failed to learn it. It's because you're ready for the next level of it.
Connect with Teresa
- Join the Becoming Obsessed Playground, the weekly email for curiosity-led women building a life they love.
- Instagram: @becomingobsessedpod and @teresaajean
- Leave a review on Apple or Spotify Podcasts. Reviews are the biggest thank-you, and reviews help ambitious women find the show.
- Website: teresaajean.com
becoming obsessed podcast, episode 100, living a life you love, entrepreneurship journey, small business owners, self-care and ambition, overcoming burnout, chasing dreams, personal growth podcast, women entrepreneurs, curiosity in business, exploring human existence, podcasting journey, self-discovery, personal development, learning through experience, building community, creative exploration, podcast giveaways, life lessons
Mentioned in this episode:
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Transcript
Welcome to Becoming Obsessed, where curiosity leads you to a life you love.
Speaker A:I'm Teresa Stasney, and after over a decade of traveling the world, working with small business owners and creating a couple businesses of my own, I know a thing or two about playing by your own rules.
Speaker A:It's not always easy and it's often messy.
Speaker A:It can be hard, especially if you're doing it alone.
Speaker A:I've seen way too many incredible women shoot for the stars only to burn out along the way.
Speaker A:Or worse, live on default and never chase their dreams.
Speaker A:We're done with all of that.
Speaker A:Together, we're gonna challenge what keeps us stuck and figure out what it takes to live a life we truly love.
Speaker A:Episode 100.
Speaker A:Oh my gosh, you guys, this is insane.
Speaker A:This is episode 100 of Becoming Obsessed.
Speaker A:We are over three years in to this journey.
Speaker A: Becoming Obsessed in April of: Speaker A:The first episode didn't go live until September of that year.
Speaker A:We've had breaks in between.
Speaker A:We have had over 50 incredible guests, probably more like 70.
Speaker A:This has been a wild ride and I will admit I honestly have struggled to know what to make this episode about because so often my solo episodes are really, I'm going through life, something happens, I have stuff to say about it.
Speaker A:But then episode 100 almost felt like I need to plan, like I need to have something to say.
Speaker A:I need to have the perfect thing to say and to talk about.
Speaker A:And it just.
Speaker A:The one perfect thing never really came to mind.
Speaker A:I've had a lot of ideas, but the one perfect thing never came to mind.
Speaker A:So we are going to ramble about what this journey has been.
Speaker A:But before we get into it, I'm gonna do a giveaway of sorts.
Speaker A:In celebration of episode 100 of Becoming Obsessed, I'm giving away free T shirts.
Speaker A:They are our signature limited edition out living my life T shirts that I worked with a local designer in Omaha to design.
Speaker A:I thrifted 80 T shirts.
Speaker A:We got them printed with a local shop called Belle Merch.
Speaker A:I am obsessed with these shirts.
Speaker A:I have a handful left.
Speaker A:I actually created these when I threw a podcast party for episode 50 and I still have some left in all variety of sizes.
Speaker A:And I'll admit I have a lot of extra large to 2x3x large shirts because those are the ones that I think can be cut so cute into tank tops and crops.
Speaker A:And for my girlies with vision or for anyone who loves an oversized or maybe that is your size, we're giving away.
Speaker A:I also have smalls.
Speaker A:I also have Mediums.
Speaker A:I have larges.
Speaker A:We are giving away T shirts.
Speaker A:So all you need to do is to get a T shirt is leave a five star review, a five star rating and review.
Speaker A:Tell me your favorite takeaways, your favorite stories, your favorite lessons, the things that Becoming Obsessed has made you think about over the last 100 episodes.
Speaker A:Leave a review for the show on Spotify, on Apple.
Speaker A:Screenshot it.
Speaker A:Email it to me@helloteresaagne.com It'll be in the show notes, include your mailing address and your T shirt size and I will send you one of our limited edition Becoming Obsessed T shirts.
Speaker A:They are so much fun.
Speaker A:I get compliments all the time on these shirts and I will say I did just get a compliment on these shirts from one of my friends who owns a resale menswear streetwear store, also a men's like mid tier designer store.
Speaker A:He complimented my other friend who is wearing the T shirt without knowing that it was from the podcast.
Speaker A:And he was like, that is a sick shirt.
Speaker A:And it was this shirt that you could have.
Speaker A:You can check my Instagram at Becoming Obsessed pod.
Speaker A:You can see what it looks like.
Speaker A:It is inspired by the idea that we work hard, play hard, rest hard card.
Speaker A:It is so quirky and just fun.
Speaker A:It is definitely a conversation starter.
Speaker A:Whenever I wear it, people ask about it.
Speaker A:There's so many different colors, like I said, sizes, varieties.
Speaker A:If you're like, okay, Teresa, I need to see what this shirt is before like, I want one, but what size?
Speaker A:We can go back and forth too.
Speaker A:So just leave a five star rating.
Speaker A:Give a review talking about how much you love Becoming Obsessed.
Speaker A:Take a screenshot, email it to me with your mailing address and your T shirt size.
Speaker A:And if you have questions about sizing and coloring, include them in the email and I will give you your T shirt for supporting Becoming obsessed on our 100th episode in honor and celebration of 100 episodes together.
Speaker A:And if you're like, okay, Teresa, 100 episodes.
Speaker A:You keep saying this.
Speaker A:That is a huge deal because it actually puts Becoming Obsessed within the top.
Speaker A:I think it's 13% of all indie podcasts because most people quit.
Speaker A:Most podcasts don't reach episode 10, even less episode 50 and barely any reach episode 100.
Speaker A:So this is just a testament to our time together, to our journey, to our commitment to living a life that we truly love.
Speaker A:And it's so interesting because I was actually on a coaching call a few weeks ago with Megan Hale Dream Money in her.
Speaker A:It's like a monthly coaching call for members of dream money.
Speaker A:And she asked me what I'm afraid of.
Speaker A:Like I was sharing what I was working on and sharing why I feel like I haven't made progress in certain areas.
Speaker A:And she was like, well, what happens if you did that?
Speaker A:Like what would happen if you did that?
Speaker A:And I said out loud and then realized like, one of my fears in my business is that I won't follow through, that I won't get the job done, which is a crazy fear.
Speaker A:And I know where it comes from.
Speaker A:It comes from so many projects that I haven't finished in my life that I didn't get done until the final minute and then didn't give it the quality that I wanted.
Speaker A:One of them was literally writing a. I think it was a 4,000 word paper in 48 hours in high school because I just didn't get to it.
Speaker A:Another one was when I lived in the Panamanian jungle.
Speaker A:We were supposed to work on a group project and a.
Speaker A:All right, context.
Speaker A:I lived in the Panamanian jungle when I was 19 for a summer and it was actually a study abroad program.
Speaker A:I was in the business and it was like business and innovation course or like sector.
Speaker A:And every student there was supposed to do one personal project and one group project.
Speaker A:And I never finished my personal project partially because hit the fan that summer.
Speaker A:And that makes for a great story that maybe I'll tell it another time.
Speaker A:I've probably told it before and there was a reason I didn't finish that project because I really would have been finishing that project just for the sake of checking off that I finished it.
Speaker A:And same thing in high school.
Speaker A:There were reasons that I didn't get that 4,000 word essay done earlier.
Speaker A:I was so busy.
Speaker A:It wasn't that I was putting things off for this like and doing nothing else.
Speaker A:It is that I had so much going on and a little undiagnosed ADHD that other things took priority.
Speaker A:And this fear has been coming up a lot in my business life.
Speaker A:Even though I'm working out of scope on things like that is something that I think some of us can relate to is, you know, working out of scope.
Speaker A:But I've just paid attention to this and it's one of the reasons that I have been hesitant to, you know, launch some type of ongoing offer.
Speaker A:I think about it, I plan it, I've literally put things in motion so many times and then I get scared and then I don't pull the trigger.
Speaker A:I don't do it.
Speaker A:Why am I bringing this up right now?
Speaker A:Because in real time, 100 episodes is proof that I do follow through.
Speaker A:And, yeah, I might have taken some breaks.
Speaker A:And I've heard a lot of podcasters, successful podcasters, talk about how they have never missed a week.
Speaker A:They have never missed a week, they have never missed an episode.
Speaker A:And I hear that.
Speaker A:And part of me then latches onto it and is like, I have actually skipped weeks.
Speaker A:I've skipped months on accident, like unplanned.
Speaker A:I have skipped months.
Speaker A:And then I have that voice in my mind of these other podcasters who are successful and they've never missed a week.
Speaker A:And the algorithm is not going to show the podcast if I miss a week, let alone miss months.
Speaker A:But it's doesn't have to be perfect and it doesn't have to be done somebody else's way for it to be worth doing and for it to be proof that I do follow through.
Speaker A:Because, baby, this is episode 100, 100.
Speaker A:But when I have conversations with other podcasters, I've heard other podcasters say the same thing I just said, you know, I've had to take breaks.
Speaker A:I didn't mean to, but I needed to, or I got behind, or I just needed to prioritize something else, or I got in to a mindset where I just didn't feel like I was inspired by what I was talking about or.
Speaker A:Or like I wanted to.
Speaker A:Like I had anything to say for that season of life.
Speaker A:And this is so core to what this podcast is about.
Speaker A:We hear these stories and we put these expectations on ourself, or we take these moments in our life of not finishing the paper or not finishing the project, and we actually hold onto it and use it to mean something way bigger than what it means.
Speaker A:We use it as evidence to tell ourself a story that is actually just holding us back or putting pressure on ourselves in a way that doesn't actually push us forward and just makes us feel like we're not good enough, feel like we're not perfect enough, feel like because we skipped some weeks, that means we're really not.
Speaker A:I'm not actually a successful podcaster because I've skipped some weeks.
Speaker A:We tell ourselves these stories.
Speaker A:And more than becoming obsessed, being a place where you're supposed to become something specific, this is where we talk about the entire spectrum of the human existence, of breaking down these stories we tell ourselves, of just learning to recognize them, of giving ourself grace for them, of rewiring the stories.
Speaker A:And it's interesting.
Speaker A:And I talk about this a lot.
Speaker A:And sometimes I contradict myself, sometimes I say this is where I'm heading, and then a few months later, I'm heading somewhere else.
Speaker A:But the core doesn't change the way I approach it often does.
Speaker A:The core is that word, exploring the human existence.
Speaker A:Together we're exploring.
Speaker A:And in a lot of ways, I do feel my marketing brain, my business brain come out and I think, what is the one thing that I should be known for?
Speaker A:What is the one thing this podcast should be known for?
Speaker A:What is the one thing that I should repeat over and over?
Speaker A:Because that's what sells.
Speaker A:That's what makes for good marketing and great solutions.
Speaker A:Not marketing in a scammy way, but really strong solutions of.
Speaker A:I listen to this podcast, I work with this person to get this result.
Speaker A:And sometimes I do want Becoming Obsessed to be strategic in that way.
Speaker A:But if you heard my birthday episode when I turned 30, I talked about letting go of that business mind and leaning into the creative side, the side where we don't have to be strategic, we don't always have to plan things out ahead of time.
Speaker A:And a lot of times, I enjoy my work the most when there is a clear direction but not a clear plan, and you map it out as you go.
Speaker A:And so that's often what, like, today's episode, Becoming Obsessed really is.
Speaker A:It's not that there's this one big promise, other than I've been playing with, where curiosity leads you to a life you love, but instead of having that one clear thing that I say over and over, that one clear takeaway, this podcast is the journey.
Speaker A:It is the middle.
Speaker A:And it is really, I want to say the evidence, but I think it is more the reminder that so often we actually do not have the answers until we walk through it.
Speaker A:In the last few weeks, I saw a post on Instagram or somewhere on the Internet, who knows where.
Speaker A:It was talking about when you show up into a room.
Speaker A:I think it was maybe around, like networking or extending your network or making collaborations and connections and whatever.
Speaker A:But it was this concept that so often when we show up into a room, we feel like we need to be perfect, have it together, know exactly what we want to get out of that room.
Speaker A:And it puts a lot of undue pressure on the situation.
Speaker A:And instead it was saying, like, instead of showing up and feeling like, you have to have the answers, show up with the intention to learn.
Speaker A:Instead of showing up saying, I have to know what I'm talking about, show up ready to be like, I'm learning, I'm progressing, I'm actually going to get better here.
Speaker A:I'm not here to have the answers.
Speaker A:I'm here to grow and to get better.
Speaker A:And it was this beautiful post that made me think of the contradiction between who I want to be and how I show up.
Speaker A:Because that is exactly who I want to be.
Speaker A:That is exactly how I have the most fun.
Speaker A:That's why I want to be that way, right?
Speaker A:Because when I remember that I actually don't have to have all the answers, I don't have to be perfect.
Speaker A:I show up more free, more relaxed, more ready for whatever comes up.
Speaker A:I maybe don't feel as embarrassed when I h get something wrong or when I just don't know the answer.
Speaker A:But if I'm not paying attention, sometimes I get so overwhelmed and stressed that I forget that I don't have to have all the answers and I don't have to be perfect.
Speaker A:And it's almost this not self fulfilling prophecy, but it's almost this little trick.
Speaker A:I don't know what to call it, where I forget.
Speaker A:Like, because in a lot of cases I am the expert, right?
Speaker A:Like people are paying me to be an expert on things.
Speaker A:And in your mind you're like, okay, I have to present myself well, I have to have it together.
Speaker A:I have to have the answers.
Speaker A:Or with my clients, they're paying me, I have to have the answers.
Speaker A:But then I'll talk to a client and I'll realize they don't expect me to have all the answers.
Speaker A:They know that I know how to think about things enough and explore and experiment enough that we will find the answers through the doing.
Speaker A:And that's what I'm trying to get at because that is the most important thing I think in business, but often in life is we gain all of this knowledge, especially in the like creator online business world.
Speaker A:We do so many courses and we have all the templates and we confuse learning something with actually having the knowledge of experience.
Speaker A:And you can learn something and never be able to do it.
Speaker A:You can know everything about something and then when you actually go to execute on it, it's completely a different experience.
Speaker A:To make this tangible, let's just say playing soccer, I have been watching the World Cup.
Speaker A:I'm obsessed, I love it.
Speaker A:And I'm learning so much more about soccer and I have so many opinions and thoughts and I've been watching socce with people who know even less about soccer than me and they will watch a World cup game, not know what's going on, literally ask questions about what is going on, like why are they moving the ball backwards when the goal's over there and then speak as if they know what the team should do.
Speaker A:They need to just go make a goal, they need to go kick it to the goal.
Speaker A:And they.
Speaker A:They really feel convicted in what they know, but it's without the experience of actually doing the thing and learning it for yourself.
Speaker A:So if I go, I'm like, ooh, being a goalie, like, that looks fun, but I don't know any of the nuance.
Speaker A:So I can give all the advice in the world, but I have no experience.
Speaker A:I have no earned experience of doing it myself.
Speaker A:And that distinction, this reminder takes the pressure off of having to have the answers.
Speaker A:And it frees me up to treat my business like a playground to explore, even with my clients, to think outside the box and have fun instead of feeling like, oh, I have to have the answer here.
Speaker A:My gosh, what is the number one thing that's gonna make this work?
Speaker A:If I don't make it work, then they're gonna find out I'm a fraud.
Speaker A:And I don't know the answer.
Speaker A:But I did thought, I thought I knew the answer, and then it didn't work.
Speaker A:No, I'm failing.
Speaker A:I'm failing.
Speaker A:I'm failing because honestly, that is a cycle that I've found myself in more and more as I do experience.
Speaker A:Having the answers, thinking I have the answers, trying something for the first time with the client, or for the first time I'm trying a new strategy.
Speaker A:And then when it doesn't work perfectly the first time, feeling like I'm a fraud, feeling like I'm a failure.
Speaker A:And this is the reminder to all of us that it honestly shouldn't work the first time.
Speaker A:Like, I'm not saying it's bad if it does.
Speaker A:I'm just saying most things, the first time you do them will not be the best way you can do them again.
Speaker A:Because maybe you took a course, but you don't have the earned knowledge yet.
Speaker A:You don't have the earned experience yet of actually getting your hands in and putting it into practice.
Speaker A:Okay, I will admit, I went to an event recently and I heard these two guys talk.
Speaker A:And I. I'm not gonna give.
Speaker A:I'm not gonna say too much about the what it was, but while these men were talking, it was really obvious that one of them had more hands on experience.
Speaker A:And one of them had a lot of head knowledge and no experience knowledge, because one of them was giving examples of how things had worked, how things had failed, the different things his team was trying, and one of them was honestly kind of giving like AI hype was giving.
Speaker A:I read this, I'm on LinkedIn, I'm learning from all these people in their 5 second LinkedIn in posts.
Speaker A:But I haven't actually been boots on the ground in the implementation to understand at an experiential level how it's working, what the pitfalls are, what we've had to do to get here.
Speaker A:And honestly, I see this a lot of a lot in a lot of different industries.
Speaker A:I think it came up a lot in the coaching industry.
Speaker A:I'm seeing it a lot in the AI industry and especially with this podcast, I think a lot about do I try and show up up with the answer to some big question or show you the way, or do I show up in the messy middle?
Speaker A:Do I show up without the answers and just explore the questions?
Speaker A:And you've heard me talk about this before in many of the last 100 episodes that I'm exploring what this podcast really is, that I'm exploring what the point is that I'm exploring what I want to talk about.
Speaker A:And we've had different seasons unofficially that really just follow the questions I'm exploring in my own life, of course, starting with how do you know it's time to quit?
Speaker A:If you're unfamiliar, go listen to the first 20 episodes of Becoming Obsessed.
Speaker A:Because I asked every single guest, how do you know when it's time to quit?
Speaker A:And then we got into, okay, how do we balance ambition and self care?
Speaker A:And that is something that I am still very much exploring, but in different avenues in more specific ways.
Speaker A:For me, the answer really is play.
Speaker A:How do I just have more fun?
Speaker A: t, this summer, this year, in: Speaker A:Because a lesson is not learned once.
Speaker A:And so often I see this actually in my friends as well as my own life.
Speaker A:Often the lesson that you've learned, it'll come back around and you'll be like, I already learned that lesson.
Speaker A:I already went through that trial.
Speaker A:I've learned that lesson.
Speaker A:And what I love to remind myself and my friends is, yes, so now you get to do the next iteration.
Speaker A:Now you are going through the next level of that lesson.
Speaker A:You get to discover that you're going through it quicker, you get to understand it deeper, you get to actually process and make a decision faster because you've experienced it before.
Speaker A:I don't know if you've ever, if you are big on journaling if you've ever gone through your journal and read an entry from years ago and then you are like, wait a minute, that sounds really familiar.
Speaker A:That's what I'm going through now.
Speaker A:Oh, my gosh, will I ever actually learn or talk about something else?
Speaker A:Else?
Speaker A:I think it's a very common phenomena and it's because that is one of those core things that it's probably going to stick with you.
Speaker A:And that's one of the.
Speaker A:The things that you're actually.
Speaker A:The lessons that you've gone through, the things that you've processed.
Speaker A:Part of that is just how you see the world.
Speaker A:And so you see that problem, you see that come up more, and it'll probably come up again.
Speaker A:And I think it's kind of cyclical.
Speaker A:I think we get those next iterations, we get to level up, we learn something and then we get to practice it.
Speaker A:We get to see how we react the next time.
Speaker A:It's again, that experiential, that earned knowledge, not just the head knowledge, because the head knowledge tells me if I want to grow.
Speaker A:Becoming Obsessed to be the biggest podcast in the world.
Speaker A:Because that's every good podcaster's goal.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:I need to be more specific.
Speaker A:I need to have the one thing and everything should point in that one North Star, and it should be very succinct.
Speaker A:And all the marketing and like.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Like all of the things I know.
Speaker A:But the actual experience of doing something tells me a different story.
Speaker A:It tells me that you can't have the answers until you actually walk the path to find them.
Speaker A:That you won't know what sticks or what works until you test it.
Speaker A:We think we should get it right the first time, but the only way to improve something in your business is to look at your numbers and then do it again, especially a launch or social media visibility.
Speaker A:What have we done in the past that we can build on instead of, well, I just learned this new strategy and it worked for somebody else.
Speaker A:So my head knowledge should be good enough to make it work for me the first time I do it.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Hopefully, maybe, but no, honestly, no.
Speaker A:We have to do things over and over again and they get a little bit better each time and sometimes they get worse, but we learn along the way, so.
Speaker A:So thank you for learning along the way with me with Becoming Obsessed.
Speaker A:Thank you to every single person listening who has listened to any episode.
Speaker A:Thank you to all of the incredible guests.
Speaker A:Part of me wanted to do a hundred things that I've learned in a hundred episodes, but the prep work on that was a little too daunting, and I thought the episode might go a little too long.
Speaker A:Remember, leave a review.
Speaker A:Let me know what your favorite things about the podcast are, what your biggest takeaways have been, what made you think differently or encouraged you along the way.
Speaker A:Take a screenshot of your review of your Spotify or Apple review and email it to me.
Speaker A:It's in the show notes.
Speaker A:Send me your mailing address and your T shirt size and I will send you one of our limited edition out Living My Life T shirts.
Speaker A:Check Instagram.
Speaker A:I will go pin an image of it so you can see it and stick around for the next 100 episodes of Becoming Obsessed.
Speaker A:All right, y', all, let's go get obsessed.
Speaker A:You're still listening, which means this episode connected with you.
Speaker A:And I want to know how.
Speaker A:Send me a DM on Instagram Becoming Obsessed Podcast.
Speaker A:Then send this episode to a friend.
Speaker A:If you know someone who is building a life that they love or they're feeling a little stuck and might just need a nudge, send this to them.
Speaker A:Then rate and review.
Speaker A:Because it also helps us get the word out.
Speaker A:And as you know, we're on a mission for more people to live a life they truly love.
Speaker A:All right, let's go get upset.
